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Cupid here. I'm the cute chubby guy that everyone associates with Valentine's Day and thinks all I have to do is shoot an arrow into someone's butt and they fall head over heels in love with "the one" forever.
Well that's not really how it works.
I only wish it was that easy - my guys and I here in Cosmic Relations wouldn't get so many complaints if it were.
But unfortunately for me, you humans are a lot more complex than that.
And despite the myths and rumors those ancient Romans were spreading about me I don't get to spend my days flitting through the clouds playing matchmaker.
There's actually a LOT of paperwork up here, I spend most days at a desk, and it really cramps my wings....
But anyway my Uncle Mercury (the messenger god) is telling me to quit whining and get on with giving you the "inside scoop"...
So, in the spirit of love and romance (and cutting down on the customer service complaints here in the Relationships Department) I want to give you some insights that most people never get... a relationship reading we created especially for you and your partner.
It's at CosmicCompatibilityProfile.com. You'll just need to enter your name, your partner's name, and your birth dates so we make sure to get you the right Compatibility Chart.
The system is based on the Ancient Mayan Calendar and their understanding of how two people's individual energies combine to form a unique and different energy when they are in a relationship. Those ancient dudes were pretty smart and what they figured out is really cool.
Three things will happen.
And just to set the record straight, no I can't just shoot an arrow into someone's butt, slip them a little Love Potion #9, and make hearts and rainbows appear – even though that would make my life a LOT easier.
So give a cute chubby godling a break and go check out CosmicCompatibilityProfile.com
Get your reading, talk with your partner about it, and let the love grow.
God of Love, Desire, Attraction, & Affection
Department of Cosmic Relations
Heart of the Galaxy
(________________ from ___________________ are sending this message since Cupid is in a meeting with The Cosmos and neither one of them sounds very happy right now ;-)...)
It might come as a 'shock' or surprise to you
But most psychics, clairvoyants, astrologers, and ancient historians have believed for the last 4000 years that...
As far back as the Ancient Egyptians there was the belief that two people in relationship create a separate and unique energetic entity.
The Ancient Maya devised a way to calculate what that entity was based on the energies of the two individuals.
P.S. - This is based on the mathematics of the universe.
This is Your Fairy Godmother :-)
And I have to apologize, I've been getting a bit forgetful lately (I am 4362 years old after all) but The Cosmos reminded me...
You see, when you and your partner got together I was so excited for you that I forgot one of the most important things I was supposed to give you (no not a silly glass slipper – those things are dangerous darling...)
I forgot your Cosmic Compatibility Report!
I know, I know, it doesn't sound nearly as fun as a Magical Enchantment, but I can wave my wand and say, "bibbidi-bobbidi-boo" if it makes you feel better.
Now where was I?
The Compatibility Report takes your individual energy signature and with a little hocus pocus, combines it with your partner's to form the energetic signature that is unique to the two of you together.
When you understand this cosmic entity you will both have a more fulfilling and "magical" relationship. And you might even live "Happily Ever After" ;-)!
I've left a copy of your report over at CosmicCompatibilityProfile.com. Just enter your, and your partner's, name in along with your birthdates and the nice people over there will send it to you. They're helping me with all of these "technical things" since the wand only seems to work in the Fairytale realm.
I've got to run dear, before I turn into a pumpkin...
(_________________ from ____________________ are sending this message since Your Fairy Godmother and The Cosmos doesn't have their own email accounts ;)...)
It's actually kind of scary how accurate the results are!
Just put in your name and birthday and your partner's name and birthday and see the results for yourself (it's 100% free)